Prep School

Dear Micah,

You wrote something one week about private school vs public school.  Do you not consider preparatory school as an educational option?  I’ve been considering whether or not prep school is a good way to give my son a safe start in life.  I’m fortunate enough to be able to afford that option.  I think it’d take him away from some of the common dangers in the school systems and provide him with a wonderful education in an environment more protected from drugs, drinking, sex, and bullying.

Mindye

Dear Mindye,

In the spirit of full disclosure here, I know very little about prep schools.  I am not from, nor am I moving toward that kind of world.  In the world where my childhood was spent, we just walked down the road a quarter of a mile and a bus came to take us to school.  I currently have my son in a Montessori school right now and that is about as exotic and progressive as I ever thought I’d be.  My personal opinion about prep school is that unless I had a child that was out of control and I’d exhausted all of my local possibilities to bring him back to this side of crazy, I don’t think I could ever do the prep school thing.  I realize that prep schools offer a unique and advanced educational curriculum, as well as provide a deep rooted social network which could come in handy in the child’s adult years.  However, this is still a boarding school which means that your child is under someone else’s roof during their most important years.  That deep rooted social network I just mentioned is deep-rooted because these other kids become your kid’s surrogate family since they are with them every day.  I want to be my child’s family, not strangers.  I cannot relate to that kind of world.  I didn’t grow up in that world.  I am of the mind where I want my child with me at all times during his childhood.  I won’t get these years back and I do not want to miss a single moment in his life.  I want to be there to help with homework.  I want to be there to wipe his tears when someone disappoints him or hurts his feelings.  I want to be the one who disciplines him when he does something wrong so that I can be absolutely certain that he understands our family’s values and morals.  I guess if I had one of those Dr. Phil kids that beat up everyone in the household or is beyond my control and I felt unsafe in their presence then hell yeah I’d pack him off to boarding school and let professionals smarter than me whip him into shape so that he could live a responsible life– but if he’s no problem then why send him away and lose all those memories?  It’s just something I can’t relate to.  That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it just means I can’t intelligently discuss it because when I hear boarding school I just automatically think that a parent is going to miss so much.  Of course I also have to say that a parent that sends their kid to boarding school is probably a very self-less person.  I truly doubt anyone does this to get rid of having to raise their child.  In truth they are generously sacrificing their time and memories with their child on a daily basis in order to provide that child with the best opportunity they can.  That’s a very self-less act.  So because  I want every possible experience I can have with my child, the local school options are just going to have suffice.  If he ends up being a janitor because of it, at least he’ll have a bunch of family memories to reflect on while he mops that floor.

The Bad Tipper

Dear Micah,

This guy I’m dating is a bad tipper.  It drives me crazy.  I get so embarrassed but I don’t want to embarrass him by saying anything.  It’s a really new relationship.  What should I do?

Jo

Dear Jo,

I hate bad tippers too.  It is embarrassing.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve had to run back to a table and throw more money down because the person who paid left a small tip on really good service.  I also used to be a waiter in my youth and let me just say to those people out there, do not eat twice in a restaurant that you under-tipped in.  I’ve seen some things.  Anyway Jo, I suggest that on your next date you pick up the tab.  I think that you should anyway if you haven’t already.  It’s 2012.  The Mayans are ending the world in a few months, so it’s time that the tradition of the man always paying came to an end.  You can treat him to a meal on occasion too, but I digress.  You pick up the check and pretend that you are trying to figure out the proper tip amount.  Read the total aloud and say something like, “The total is $120.  So 10% of that is $12 and I double that because tips should be 20% and that comes to $24.  that’s right isn’t it?”  Now he’ll respond.  Either he’ll reply that it is and he’ll mentally take note that he should start tipping 20% in the future–at least around you, or he’ll begin a discussion about your tip being too much.  This will be your golden opportunity to explain to him how 20% is a standard good tip amount.  15% is minimal but you like to do 20.  You might even need to explain to him that wait staff do not get paid anything.  In my day we made around $2 an hour, all of which went to taxes.  Tips were our income.  Things haven’t changed much.  I think the norm is still a little over two dollars, so your waiter is supporting himself based upon the tips he receives.  Your new boyfriend may not know that information.  Also in my day, the restaurant had to report to the government an estimated tip they thought we received based on a percentage of the bill.  So if your date is tipping under that estimate then your waiter is in the hole after you leave when it comes to taxes.  There are lots of little details about waiting tables and tip income that the general public doesn’t know.  You might be able to educate your date on some of these if he brings the subject up after you tally the bill.  Then on your next date, see if he follows your example.  If not then he’s a cheapskate and you can just ditch him.  Dating is what you do when you are shopping for a companion, and no one wants a cheapskate for a companion so cut your losses and find a generous man.

Workplace Thievery

Dear Micah,

At work we have a cabinet where we ladies all place our purses and personal things.  It’s a reasonably large office with about 20 people there.  Lately things have started to go missing.  I’ve lost some money a couple of gift cards someone gave me and I think i know who it is.  A few of us want to confront this person but don’t know the proper way to do it without causing a scene.  Is there a way to initiate the topic gently to see what kind of reaction she has?  How should we go about this?

Lisa

Dear Lisa,

You don’t.  Unless you actually have seen this person stealing from you then do not accuse her of anything.  I don’t know the dynamics of your office but you might be at risk of losing your job if you just accuse a person of theft without evidence.  And the fact that several of you suspect her is not evidence.  Lots of people suspected the Salem women of being witches too and you see where that got them all.   I suggest that you go on-line and get a nanny-cam.  You can buy one for $40 and it can be disguised in a stuffed animal or a pen or virtually anything.  I once caught a thief with a nanny-cam in a wall mounted clock.  Set your camera up to spy on that cabinet and get visual evidence of who the thief is.  Then you can lobby to have her fired.  At the very least you can confront her and let her know that you all know she’s the one.  Just get proof before you make accusations.

If you have a question and you need micah’s advice send him an email at micahcargo@hotmail.com

by Cherri Ellis

I recently was able to take my daughter on a mother/daughter trip to New York City.  For three nights, we shopped and laughed and napped and ate in cool restaurants of all varieties.  We bought black/black gel mac eyeliner and walked everywhere, guided by her ever-present iPhone, of course. One night she talked me into wearing her low-cut skinny jeans out to dinner. If you ever see us out, you will instantly know why that’s funny.  She is 5 foot 9 and can wear a size 6; I am five foot 4 and can’t…or at least shouldn’t. (I’ll take “Things I’ll Only Do Out of Town for $200,” Alex.)

As we zipped around the city, we were frequently asked where we were from.  Several times, the moment we cheerfully responded “Birmingham, Alabama,” we were questioned about our state’s new immigration law. One perfectly charming Italian cab driver went into a verbal tirade about how much a pound of tomatoes is going to cost now that the farmers have lost so much labor that they can’t get the product in from the fields. The owner of a highly lauded Mexican restaurant talked about it so long that he felt bad and sent us over a free flan.  (Okay, that time it was worth it.)

It was painful to see that the reputation of our amazing state has been so affected.  We were just getting over the constant dredging up of the dogs-and-hoses pictures when we came up with HB 56. The late-night talk hosts are having a field day, as well they should.  There is a lot of comedic material to be found in Representative Scott Beason’s hair alone.

The experience made me want to learn more about HB 56. Through a friend of a friend, I was able to arrange an interview with a real, live, illegal immigrant.   The fact that he requested to not be identified made it feel a touch dangerous, but when I opened the door to find “Carlos,” he was just an attractive, conservative-looking man in a sport coat.

He came to chase the American Dream from Peru, where he was educated in business administration and his wife was a social worker. When the Peruvian economy tanked and he was out of work for over a year, he used the family car as a taxicab, basically popping a sign in the window and declaring himself as such.  Local conditions worsened to the point that there were no more jobs, and the ensuing desperation made crime skyrocket. Wanting a better life for themselves and their seven-year-old daughter, they scraped up enough money to give to a man he met on a fare who then made arrangements for him to get papers that would allow entry into the United States.  The man turned out to be less legitimate than he had claimed, but he was able to get Carlos as far as Miami on a travel visa. Miami is a tough and dangerous landscape to navigate for anyone, much less a family man without a word of English. He worked odd jobs until he was able to get the money to bring his wife and daughter over, reuniting the family but hardly solving their problems.

A connection through a friend led to a job for them both in Birmingham. They were the only Hispanic employees for this particular business, and they were grateful for the mostly manual labor they were given. They taught themselves English two ways: through closed-caption television and through a tutoring program at a church.  He laughed as he told me how thrilled he was that nobody else showed up for the class except them, because he knew the value of private instruction. They have worked hard as a couple, securing better jobs and better housing, moving from the inner city to Homewood to Trussville, where they now own a home.

It has been 11 years now.  They have a son, the only legal resident in their family of four.  They have tried to obtain citizenship a variety of ways, using every type of visa they qualified for and spending as much as they could afford on immigration lawyers, but they have been unsuccessful.  They pay their bills and their mortgage and their taxes, and they teach their kids that education is the key to getting ahead, but they live scared. They do not let their eight-year-old boy watch the news because they do not want him to feel discriminated against.

Carlos might be an illegal immigrant, but he is a business-owning, home-owning, tax-paying, church-going, school-volunteering one.

I completely get the need for immigration reform. I understand that homeland security is paramount to the safety of our citizens.  If you want to come to this country to live, you had better be ready to learn our language, pay our taxes and follow our laws, including those that are flawed. Were I to travel or live in another country, I would be expected to have ID on me. Actually, I believe I am expected to have an ID in this country.  But to pass a law that will cost our cash-strapped residents this much money is at best, ill thought out, and at worst, a nightmare.  Look at the math:

4.2 percent of our work force is unauthorized.  Last year, those unauthorized immigrants paid $130.3 million dollars in state and local taxes. One in five jobs in Alabama is connected to farming.  When crops rot in the field, we’re the ones who are going to pay more at the grocery store. Who is going to pay the legal fees for the government to fight the lawsuits this rash decision has generated?  We are.  Training and man hours for the police force?  That’s on us too.  According to Professor Samuel Addy at the University of Alabama Center for Business and Economic Research, this law is going to reduce the state’s economy by 40 million dollars.

I have an idea that I humbly consider to be the perfect solution. I propose that we repeal HB 56 and offer work visas to qualified illegal immigrants, and in doing so charge them a fee that will go toward the Jefferson County sewer bill.  It would be like a hostess gift, like bringing wine or nice tea towels to a dinner party.  As a show of appreciation for their lovely invite to legally live in our communities, they throw in a little cash on the other situation in Alabama that has provided national late-night punch lines.

Get me Tony Petelos on the phone, stat

Stephanie Mallory

My hometown: Gardendale, Ala.

Profession: Owner of Mallory Communications Inc.  We provide media relations services for companies catering to the outdoor industry. I’m also a freelance writer for national outdoor publications.

My passion: My four children and my husband Brett, as well as all things outdoors.

Who most inspires you? My phenomenal parents are my inspiration. They provided me with a happy and carefree childhood. They also taught me the importance of generosity, thoughtfulness and dependability. I hope to do the same for my children.

What is your most marked characteristic? I’m told it’s my compassion and level headedness

My most overused words or phrases: “Look at my face and listen to what I’m saying,” to my kids.

Most treasured possession: My camera — it provides me with a way of keeping my children young forever.

I am guilty of: Being too cynical. I question everything.

What is your greatest extravagance? My nightly soaks in a warm bath while reading a good book. This is my time to unwind and relax.

Guilty pleasure: Chocolate — lots of it

What is your greatest fear? That my children will be harmed in some way.

Favorite book: I love memoirs, especially those that demonstrate the human capacity to overcome adversity and thrive despite overwhelming odds. Two good ones are Glass Castle and A Long Way Gone.

What is your motto/mantra? Take nothing for granted, and “Before you criticize a man, walk in his shoes.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness? I’m living it. I can’t imagine anything better than what I’ve got right now: a wonderful husband and four healthy, happy kids. I also have a successful business. I don’t take any of this for granted. I wake up every morning absolutely amazed and humbled by the ways I’ve been blessed.

Which living person do you most admire? Paul Farmer, the founder of Partners in Health. He and his organization embody the virtues of Mathew 25:40: “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”

Last time I lied: A few minutes ago. I just told my two-year-old twins that we were out of candy.

Last time I cried: Can’t remember. I don’t cry very often.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Excessive wealth and status — unless you’re using it to benefit others.

Favorite journey or trip: We took our two oldest boys to Yellowstone this summer. We watched two huge grizzly bears fighting in Lamar Valley. It was like something you’d see in National Geographic. I’ll never forget it.

What is your current state of mind? Content.

You can never have too many… Diapers, at least not when you have 2-year-old twins who refuse to potty train.

Photo and interview by Angela Karen Simpson

Galloway

by Brett Levine

Photography by Jerry Siegel

I am fascinated by the ordinary, rather than the extraordinary, in nature,” painter Drew Galloway says, laughing.  His new works, a series of paintings that explore the everyday nature of Birmingham’s Shades Creek, where he played as a child, and the streams of western Tennessee, where his family did the same many years ago, are marked by their quietness as much as their intimacy.

“My works grow from an affinity with a place,” he says. “I love to watch its difference from season to season.”  Galloway’s paintings are actually collaged metal, and the material brings its own qualities to each work.  “I’ve been fascinated by working with different materials for a long time,” he continues.  “The process of collecting materials I can paint on reinforces the idea that the works deal with many issues surrounding conservation, although that is not their primary focus.”

This focus is represented through a new series of large works, some as big as five by nine feet, such as “Mosaic in Gold,” that premiered recently at Nashville’s Rymer Gallery and are on view through February.  “These large-scale works, which include collaged metal triptychs, have what I term an oriental aesthetic but a Southern vernacular,”  Galloway says. His understanding of oriental painting, particularly the Japanese aesthetic, lends his work a quality that recalls both painted screens and woodblock prints.  “In many ways,” he says, “my new works are inspired by cyclorama paintings and many of the large-scale painterly installations that were common in 19th century France.”  Galloway’s goal, in part, was to immerse viewers in an experience of the paintings.

Galloway has also begun taking a new approach to his process.  “I have spent a lot of time recently speaking about my works as they develop, but only with artists whose works I particularly respect,” he says. Local artist Arthur Price has been instrumental in  these conversations.  “It is really valuable to be able to discuss works as they develop, which is something that I have never really done before,” Galloway says.

Also important is his understanding of the qualities that affect the subjects he paints.  “I have also begun discussing the science behind these works,” Galloway remarks.  “I have spent a great deal of time talking with Autumn Yatabe, a physical geography instructor at Samford, about the physics of water, about how it behaves, what its properties are, and how I have been depicting it.  What I learned was that I had an intuitive understanding of it, but my discussions have helped me understand the science.  And with painting, it is often the case that the more you understand the science, the more easily you can depict something, and then move beyond that depiction.”

Galloway also appreciates the impact that dialogues such as those with Price and Yatabe can have on the greater practice of painting.  “There is a beautiful poem by William Carlos Williams that I often think about when I work,” he says.  “It suggests that the more you know about the world, the richer an experience of it you can have.”  With this in mind, Galloway moves between personal observation, reading and research, lively discussions and a sustained studio practice.  “I am fortunate to be able to do something I love as my profession,” he says, laughing.  “What it means for me is that I am more able to relax, and make the works that please me, and be as attuned as I can to what I make.”  He takes this opportunity as a responsibility.  “I try to let my work evolve just as my subject matter does.  And I am always fascinated by how the nuances of the subject constantly affect how I make art.”

Something to crow about

Valentines Day is only as scary as you make it

by Paget Pizitz

You probably think I was reared by Jack Hanna because of how I grew up. One Valentine’s Day when I was 11, my mom and dad adopted a pet crow. In fairness, it was sent to them by Wildlife Services because my parents had developed the reputation as known suckers and would take in most any animal in need of TLC. They named the crow Cuervo and built a special housing unit for it on the porch from parts of my Barbie Malibu Dream House. Cuervo was like a flying black rat with wings, but we loved him. He lived on a special diet of cat food, ground beef, slightly overcooked hot dogs and worms. Cuervo picked people at random whom he saw as a threat to his family. For instance, he hated my friend Alison’s mom with fervor. Every time her big, brown Mercedes would barrel up our driveway, he would start sharpening his beak and strength training his toes. When she would pull her perfectly coiffed hair out of the car, he’d go after her like a B-17 Flying Fortress.

My parents had no idea I thought this Wildlife Animal Rescue crow was my Valentine’s Day present, but to me it was better than chocolates or flowers. Because I had recently been gifted both a brother AND a sister in the form of baby deer, receiving pets as presents didn’t seem out of the ordinary at this stage.

Oh, that’s right. It’s February. You want me to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day and help you come up with unique and original ways to show your loved one that you care. I’m probably not going to do that, considering the most memorable Valentine’s Day gift I can remember was a crow. On the upside, Valentine’s Day traces its roots to an ancient pagan holiday called Lupercalia, in which men stripped naked, grabbed whips and spanked young women in hopes of increasing their fertility. I know this has some of you excited. Me, too. But let me arrive at my point before B-Metro fires me for turning this column into a scene from Law and Order SVU. Valentine’s Day is an excellent reminder to bring the person you love flowers, take her out to dinner or buy him a new speedboat. The romance fires are sometimes hard to keep burning when we struggle together with everyday things like bills, kids, jobs and the mundane responsibilities life throws in your face.

See Valentine’s Day as a wakeup call to keep that passion alive but don’t get your Pajama Jeans in a bundle over this “holiday.” However, if she says she doesn’t want anything, be sure to ignore her. Don’t you dare come home empty-handed. Something is better than nothing, unless it’s a crow. And if you do come home with crow, I’ll tell you that they like worms sautéed with a few tablespoons of unsalted butter and a heaping portion of peanut butter. At least, that’s what Cuervo told us.

by Jan Walsh      Photography by Beau Gustafson

Chef Warren Weiss

MetroPrime is a locally owned steakhouse that recently opened in a prime location on Southside. Located at 1035 20th St. South in Five Points South, the steakhouse is open for dinner Monday through Saturday and serves Sunday brunch.

The Place

Tonight we are met by a valet as we pull up curbside to MetroPrime. This venue has been a restaurant as long as I can recall. It was home to The Mill when I was a student at UAB. So I have many fond memories of this place. The building has great “bones” inside and out. And I am delighted to see it achieve its potential as a swank steakhouse. The bar area is to the left of the entrance and boasts a stacked-stone fireplace, television and original bar. This space is separated from the main dining room with a partial paneled wall, topped with frosted glass panels sketched with the letter “M.”  Black and red dominate in both the bar and dining room, with sections of exposed brick. A wall of windows provides views of Five Points and MetroPrime’s patio.  And notes of jazz and big band music lend another layer to this steakhouse ambience.

The People

MetroPrime is owned by restaurateur Brett MacDonald, who also owns Feugo Cantina across the street. Executive chef Warren Weiss was educated at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, N.Y. His culinary career has included stints at Chicago’s Blackbird Restaurant, Highlands Bar & Grill and Bottega before

shrimp cocktail

coming to MetroPrime when it opened in late fall 2011. Artisan butcher Ben Plesic hand cuts the steakhouse’s selection of prime, bone-in and dry-aged steaks in house.

Favorite Fare

MetroPrime’s dinner menu is a mix of soups, salads, sandwiches, steaks and chops, seafood, specialties and sides. We order Chandon Brut with appetizers of shrimp cocktail and Crab Louie Lettuce Wraps. The bubbly arrives in old-fashioned Champagne coupe glasses, adding a touch of nostalgia to this new restaurant. Along with our bubbly arrive tasty hot rounds of cornbread, moist, light and full of corn flavor. The classic shrimp cocktail includes four enormous, firm, chilled, pink, succulent shrimp dangling from a goblet of house- made, thick and tangy cocktail sauce and lemon wedges. The light Crab Louie Lettuce Wraps are made of marinated Gulf crabmeat, green goddess dressing and fresh cucumber tomato relish, filling three lovely leaves of crisp, green baby lettuce. The acidity of the cucumbers and tomatoes, along with a touch of creaminess from the dressing, brings out the delicate crab essence without overpowering it. And the base of lettuce not only provides a colorful backdrop, it also adds texture and crispness to

18-ounce rib-eye

this dish. Steak calls for a Cab, and we select Kenwood, Jack London Cabernet Sauvignon. Our favorite entrée is the 18-ounce bone-in rib-eye, cooked medium. The steak arrives sizzling on the outside, pink and finely textured on the inside, with marbling and flecks of fat representative of young, prime beef. Each bite is tender, juicy and flavor filled. Sides include a tasty, crisp and nutty Haricot Vert Amandine and the “can’t miss” Lobster Mac and Cheese. This dish adds a touch of surf to our turf with

generous pieces of pink lobster claw meat in this creamy, cheesy pasta dish. For dessert we split a Peanut Butter Crunch, which is a wedge of decadence — chocolate mousse and peanut butter cream topping a crunchy layer of pretzel bits.

Peanut Butter Crunch

by Charlie Thigpen    Photography by Chuck St. John

DIY gifting

Would you like to be creative and give your special Valentine something a little different? Use copper grounding wire, a pair of pliers and your own two hands to shape a special gift. Last year, I made hearts of all sizes and attached small, glass bottles and beads to them for Valentine’s gifts. Rose buds and roses were placed in the water-filled bottles to top out these simple arrangements. These hearts can be hung in a window, on a wall, a door or anywhere fitting. Here’s how to make a simple and unique memory.

Get Wired

Copper grounding wire can be found at most hardware stores. This soft metal wire is easy to bend and shape. It also gets better with age, as moisture and time will give it a greenish-blue patina. Some hardware stores sell it by the foot but you can buy it cheaper by the roll. Six- and eight-gauge wire works well. Six-gauge wire runs about 85 cents per foot, and eight-gauge is a little thinner in diameter and costs about 65 cents per foot. Pliers equipped with wire cutters work well for making cuts. Pliers also help in making tight bends in the wire.

Where to Start

Before making any cuts to your wire, shape your heart the size you want. Then you can make a cut. You might want to cut the wire a little long so you can overlap the ends. Next, wrap a few other pieces of wire around the heart-shaped frame to give it more strength and bulk.

Add a Bottle and Some Bead Bling

Snugly wrap wire around the neck of a small bottle and attach it to the heart frame. The bottle will be used as a vase to hold a few flowers or showy foliage. If you don’t want to mess with fresh flowers and water in the bottle, you can tuck in a few dried flowers. For a little color, you can use a thinner gauge wire to string a few glass beads, then  attach the string of beads to the heart and allow the strand to dangle.

DIY Gifting

Homemade and one-of-a-kind art projects are special and from the heart. So instead of heading to the florist or grabbing a grocery store bouquet, you can go to the hardware store and grab some copper wire.  Make a heart your Valentine will always remember.  •

Charlie Thigpen is a horticulturalist and the owner of Garden Gallery in Pepper Place.

by Jan Walsh    Photography by Beau Gustafson

Red wine for your valentine

After three decades of purveying fine wines from around the world, Wilson Daniels crafts their own California Central Coast wines. California’s Central Coast stretches from San Francisco to Santa Barbara and includes Santa Maria Valley and Paso Robles.

The Santa Maria Valley, formed by the only two traverse mountain ranges in North and South America, is the northern most AVA of Santa Barbara County. This unique location, paired with its proximity to the Pacific Ocean, provides a cool climate and the longest growing season in California. Wilson Daniels Central Coast Pinot Noir NV ($19) has a silky body, making it a romantic choice for Valentine’s Day. Made from Santa Maria Valley fruit, this Pinot offers notes of Bing cherry, Asian spice and strawberry.

Paso Robles’s rolling terrain has more than 45 soil series, primarily bedrock derived, and its day-to-night temperature swings produce lovely Bordeaux-style wines. Wilson Daniels Central Coast Merlot NV ($18) is satiny on the palate, expressing plum, vanilla and blueberry. And the Wilson Daniels Central Coast Cabernet Sauvignon NV ($18) has a velvety mouth feel with aromas and flavors of chocolate and cassis, and hints of cedar and toasty oak.