A Love Story...

With the onset of February comes the month of baseball practice (spoken by a true former cleat chaser), Groundhog Day and, of course, Valentine’s Day (oh joy!).

If you sense my sarcasm, mind you even those years when I’ve had a significant other at Valentine’s Day, I’ve never much cared for it as a holiday. The one day a year you tell the person you love that you do so through cards or gifts, a nice dinner or flowers? What gives February 14 the right? I think when you love someone, you should show them that “heart day” admiration as much as possible.

In saying all that though, I realize that Valentine’s Day can be a bit lonely for singles in Birmingham. For the romantically love challenged of the Magic City, I ask that you do as I do and instead of focusing on your absent soul mate, embrace the platonic soul mates in your life.

Not quite sure who these people are? Think of the individuals that totally Renee Zellweger you and “complete you” in a non-sexual sense. These are the people that make you laugh, hold you as you’re crying and are your dinner dates at couples-only outings. In one of my favorite Sex and the City episodes, Charlotte tells Carrie, Miranda, Samantha that they are all soul mates and the men in their lives are there for added enjoyment. These individuals, my friends, are the platonic loves of your lives.

I have been blessed with so many of these that I can barely see for all the Plato-fired love. From girlfriends that I consider sisters to guys that may well have been blood related, I cannot begin to thank the cosmos for such incredible friends and soul mates. While I wish I could write a column to each and every one, I have to devote this love month write up to my platonic soul mate of two-and-a-half years, Riley.

Riley and I met at a Southern Summer Night event for Hands on Birmingham in the summer of 2007. From the minute he opened his mouth, I knew that I was keeping him. We exchanged numbers and the rest is history. In the time we’ve spent together, I’ve grown to love Lady GaGa more than chocolate, have shared bottles of wine over lost loves, have learned why “Liberty Bell” is the most fabulous old drag queen in Birmingham and have learned to appreciate, more than I ever thought I would, the struggles of being a gay man in a society that does not always embraces that lifestyle.

What makes Riley most fantastic to me is that his love life is equally as busted and his outlook on love a mix between bitterness and hopefulness, much like all of us with love ailments. He listens to my tales and gives tough love when necessary. He is a voice of reason and, though gay, he is still a man who can give advice on the male mind to the opposite sex.
His plight—like all of ours in the single realm—is to find someone who makes sense, fits his personality and shares in his goals and beliefs. In the time until he and I both find that, however, we are each other’s plus one, dinner date, wedding guest and better half. I would be less of a person without him and for that, I say to this platonic soul mate of mine “I love you.” And thank you for being one of the great loves of my life.

With that being said, however, I look forward to sharing a completely non-sexual dinner date on February 14 (unless of course I find a sexual one before then, and then in that case…I’ll bring you take-out).

To my readers, think about your own platonic soul mates. Who is your own Riley? Who are your best friends who offer you love even if you can’t catch a relationship with a giant fishing net?

Don’t be lonely this month but instead focus on the love you’ve got. Trust me. You have these soul males, and you are lucky that you do. Be sure to remember them this Valentine’s Day…or any random Tuesday you so please.